Breast Cancer Awareness Month

I'm not going to provocatively tell you where I put my handbag in my Facebook status. I won't tell you what color bra I'm wearing to catch your attention. I won't wear shirts that say "Save the Boobies," and I have to admit I don't even have a bracelet.

But, I do have a story.















Her colleagues called her Dr. J. The prisoners whose teeth she worked on at work knew her as the "hat lady." A child's mistake gave her the nickname Cinde Doctor. My dad knew her as Cinde, and I knew her as Mom.

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1992. Her cancer was so developed at the point of diagnosis that she was given only six months to live. However, my mother was not one to accept things lightly. During her battle with breast cancer, she worked hard to give me the firm foundation of morals and work ethic that I still carry with me today. Her determination and strength gave her seven years with my father and me after her initial diagnosis of only half a year.

In the picture, you can see she is bald. This is after yet another bout with chemotherapy that caused her to lose her hair. The picture was taken at the Fowler's house, a close family friend. Lindsey recently discovered how to make hairbands, and without thinking ran up to my mother, who was near the end of her life, and gave her a hairband to wear on her bald head. Without even flinching she grabbed the hairband and put it on her head with no thoughts or self-pity toward her situation. It became yet another thing she could laugh about. This was the kind of person my mother was.

It is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. For this month there will be many status updates, races, and other awareness raised, which I think is a wonderful rallying cry. However, I have to tell you that every month I am conscious to the research for breast cancer and the pain and struggle that those who suffer from the terrible illness. Research has made great strides toward a cure, but they have a long way to go.

Until then, I'll keep praying. I'll give when I can. I'll keep hope that this kind of care can and does last past October.



I love you, Mom. I miss you every day.

Diaries of a Rock Star

Because you don't want to hear about me playing ukulele, and because that is all I do anymore, here is a random posting for you.
I will always be the first person to defend Conor Oberst. He is a genius. A mad, blubbering genius. But this, this is just ridiculous.
There are confirmed excerpts from his official, "friends only" Livejournal account that I stumbled upon today. Unfortunately I can't seem to find the way to access it and read more, and this was posted a long time ago, but I laughed for a good minute while reading these. I'll commentate in bold...



December 19th, 2004

...6am and the bathroom tile is freezing. The mirror betrays the awful truth of my being. i try to wash the misery off, but softsoap can't cleanse me of my misfortune [Nothing like product placement to kill poetic blogging]. sleep is so hard to find. maybe if i do another line? my heart is exploding with the joy and pain of the universe! or maybe that's the coke....[Most definitely the coke.]


January 7th, 2005

...winter has come and the bathroom tile is freezing. i'm drowning in fame and choking on my memories. new york is big and hard [...that's what she said]. nebraska is gone, across an ocean of regret, the smile on my face hasn't come back yet. winona called when i was drunk[Judd?!]. reality bites. today i should do something productive. i think i'll go shopping for jeans. or write an album. maybe it could be called, "i got the blues, but i need blue jeans"[...]. that's good. i'm so tired of all the fake people here. why isn't anybody real. omaha? somewhere in middle america. that was real["...buuuuuuuuut coke was harder to find."]...

March 29th, 2005

...i am balled up in my shower, crying, and the bathroom tile is freezing[...sigh]. i must let go of rock and roll before it kills me. who could possibly have the strength to handle my life[Oh come on now, being a drug addict is only hard if you're poor]? if the women don't kill me, the cocaine will. happiness is an impossibility. it is but an illusion, created to torment the simple songwriters of the world! i just want to play paddycakes with jill cooper, that girl from 4th grade who wore flowers in her hair. we could sing raffi and laugh at the absurdity of all things real and imagined[Creepy!]! the drugs aren't working, mommy. please take this pain away. i want a falafel. and happiness[ditto]...

North American Scum

Well, I've shaved my armpits and returned aux Etats-Unis. So, now I am a wannabe Francophone with an obsession with Paris shoes and a taste for Camembert cheese. I get a little confused when I look around and there is not a building older than the United States looming over me. I am once again able to communicate myself and have a personality, even though my English skills seem to be rusty. Also, I am poor.
I don't think I have ever been more satisfied with a decision.
After having to pay my own way to France, I will say without a doubt that it was 100% worth it. There is a small window of time when those kind of opportunities are offered to a person, and sometimes they never exist at all. I realize how lucky I am to have done this, something that many will never do in a lifetime. I also have had a reinforced idea of how many special people that I have in my life that were waiting for me back home.
Okay, I know that is super cheesy.
The main demand I have had since my return is, "So, tell me about France."
It is extremely difficult to sum up two months of your life into a reasonable anecdote, both for length and content. The easiest way is for little parts to come out piece by piece, rather than talk everyone into a stupor. With that said, I do have giant, sweeping conclusions that I have made about France.

Food - This is the most frequently asked question, I think, and I must say that I am the complete wrong person to ask. I love food, but I cannot discern or really articulate why I like it. Mostly because I'm not picky and do not have a refined taste. I ate a lot of really delicious things in France, and I did appreciate that it seemed like lighter foods rather than the heavy food I eat at home, but really that is a household difference more than anything. I did eat about a ton of French pastries though, and I will say that they easily and safely kick American pastry ass.

Clothes - It is true that the French are generally better dressed. However, you won't get spit at for wearing jeans and tennis shoes, just easily spotted as a foreigner. BUT, jeans are completely acceptable for everyone, which was a generalization that a lot of people have asked me about. When I first arrived there were more skinny jeans on the streats than Urban Outfitters could passively shake a stick at. I will have to say that I very much prefer the French style of presenting oneself. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to wear heels out shopping. Maybe not practical, but hey, no one ever accused them of being practical. I will say that when I got back, though, I wore Nike shorts, a t-shirt, and no make-up for three days straight. It. Was. Awesome.

Politics - It is obvious that there are flaws in the French government. They're on their fifth republic! Of course there are glitches, otherwise they wouldn't keep changing it. BUT, there are also huge problems with our government and everyone else's. There is no perfect solution. So before you start writing SOCIALIST across my front door, hear me out and keep in mind that I think it would be a horrible idea to completely adopt the French style of government. With that said, I think that the French people and government are, as a whole, more altruistic than their American counterparts. There are rarely protests regarding their ridiculously high tax rates (and believe me, they protest for everything), largely because they recognize that the redistribution of wealth is a moral more than monetary obligation. The French have a better understanding of the nature of the work world and know that unfortunate circumstances are not always the fault of the individual.

Music - What a let down. I guess in my mind there were mini-Edith Piafs and Bridgett Bardots roaming the streets, but the French mostly listen to American music. This is unsurprising if you look at the control the American music industry has on the rest of the world. I will say that they are less harsh on street performers, who set up on the street whenever they like, amps and everything. I also realized my mistake in assuming there is only one genre to sum up all of French music. Of course not! It's the same in the US. The music that the French create falls into all different types of categories. It does not have to have an beret wearing accordian player to be French (although there were some of those).
This was actually my blog topic for the class, so if you want to read more of my thoughts, go here.


In conclusion, I loved the trip. I love that my French improved ten fold while I was there. I will most definitely be returning one day, and maybe for an extended period of time. On that note, I am, at my very core, a Texan, and there are certain parts of me that would never mesh well in the French culture. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate and attempt to embrace that opposition. It certainly doesn't mean that I was rejected as a result.
Also, there were some rad people that I met both foreign and fellow Longhorns, and I'm excited to forge those relationships. I really couldn't think of a better way to start a friendship than, "Remember that time when we met IN FRANCE..."

Vivre

It is HOT.


I know that if you happen to be reading this you are probably from Texas. I realize it is hot in Texas, but let me tell you something that the Promiseland adopted that France has not.





















AIR CONDITIONING
One of the best feelings in the world is coming in from a scorching day into cool, cool air. I go from scorching days into a three-bedroom sauna. Seriously, the only source of fresh air is an open window. During the cooler weather this was perfect, but literally overnight the weather went from cool to nearly unbearable.

But, wah wah boohoo for me, huh?

I went to Saintes Maries de la Mer last weekend, which is a little beach town that Bob Dylan used go to. It tripped me out thinking about old Bobby writing songs on the beach. We also went to Arles and Avignon. Arles was probably one of the more charming places we have visited. I saw the café featured in Van Gogh's Le Café la Nuit. It was very Romanesque, which is by far my favorite architectural style. On the way back to Lyon we stopped at the Pont du Gard to swim in the river underneath, which was freezing. Imagine New Braunfels, but colder. Regardless, I spent about two hours getting acclimated, then jumped from a rock and almost died in sea(river?)weed. I still sound like I am complaining, but I am totally not. We picnicked there and it was very cute and picturesque.

I am so depressed about my pictures not uploading! You are going to have an overload when I get back 'villeside.

Also, let me tell you about one of the best things that could have possibly happened. Through out the year, France generally doesn't have sales in stores because of very strict government regulation, BUT on June 30 of every year until August 1 there are LES SOLDES. Now, what are these? Well, they are, quite simply, THE SALES. I am talking Black Friday type sales for a month. I am pretty sure I just walked around buying things and giggling for a few hours, and round two is starting tomorrow. My dress, according to my host mom, is getting quite European.

AND my French is improving. Most notably my comprehension, but my speaking as well. In fact, a shopgirl gossiped with me about how strange she thought it was that the girl before me switched from speaking fluent French to broken English. SHE COMPLAINED TO ME ABOUT ENGLISH SPEAKERS, SHE TOTES THOUGHT I WAS FRENCH.

This blog has gone on long enough. I will try to update more often so I am not directly recounting my days.

...and by the way, how are y'all?

Playlist

What I have been listening to:
I Shall Be Released - The Band
Tell 'Em - Sleigh Bells
Quick Canal - Atlas Sound
The Wild Hunt - Tallest Man on Earth
Square One - Tom Petty
Heart of Gold - Neil Young
Walk in the Park - Beach House
Lonely Boy - King Khan & BBQ Show
Odessa - Caribou

...and also thinking of songs that I will soon cover on ukulele.
SOMEONE SEND ME SOME MUSIC.

Moi, je joue.

Fortunate thing: I have a really awesome camera to take pictures, courtesy of my Uncle David.
Unfortunate thing: Said camera is too fancy for regular drivers, so I can't upload pictures until I get back aux Etats-Unis.

On that note, France is BEAUTIFUL. Really, I can't get over it. There is too much to soak in, and I don't understand how on earth people possibly process everything in less that a month or so. I doubt I will have done a sufficient job by the time I leave here. I've been doing a lot of writing that I couldn't manage to do at home, which is really nice. I take a walk after dinner most nights, which has become one of my favorite parts of the day (aside when we eat cheese after dinner, Chamembert is my favorite), and also the time when my thoughts are clearest.

All fun aside, I have been doing a lot of work. I am taught by some crazy lizard-lady French woman who licks her lips too often and puts on too much eyeliner. We just had our first test. It was BRUTAL, but I guess I am learning French?

We just got back from the Alps, where I, of course, had to do some hiking. It was absolutely gorgeous up there, with lots of greenery despite the cold. We drank out of a mountain stream and I was a total earth child for the day. At the end of the hike we did was this pretty fantastic waterfall with a very strong flow, kind of rarity in the mountains in Texas. Just to prove my inner-Texan, I did the whole thing in Nike shorts, a Phi Delt t-shirt, and a scarf. Pretty awful at first, but the group that went with me moved pretty quick.

Today is the Fete de la Musique, which is basically a day of tolerated street performers. I am pretty excited to see how it all works, even though my host family rolled their eyes and called in the Fete du Bruit (Day of Noise). Speaking of music, my host brother's friend played Kesha on the piano and sang with a really thick accent. Funniest part: "The party don't start 'til I walk in."

Adventures in France

It would be horrible of me to recount everything I have done for you. You wouldn't really care to read all of it and it would be terribly, terribly boring. I wanted to upload the pictures that I took, but it won't let me at the computer lab at the university. I'll try again at home. Contrary to my dad's belief, France is NOT a third-world country. They have all the modern conveniences that we enjoy here, like WiFi and television. I'll make this easier on the eyes and do a list of the thigns I have noticed thus far, and I'll keep this short until I can get a visual.

• The French are very weird about setting utensils back on the table, yet they have no problem just putting bread straight on the table and eating from there, even in restaurants.
• They keep doors shut at all times.
• They walk without swinging their shoulders, which is a really intimidating posture.
• Men are NOT shy about whistling and jeering at you in the street. Women either.
• Cheese is dessert and salad is for after the main course.

Most of the time I've been walking around the city and writing. A lot. I've been doing some reviews (I know, I know) and writing some really sloppy poetry that I destroy almost immediately after. My host family is very sweet, and speaks nothing but French to me. They are patient, though, and have to repeat themselves a lot. They have five kids, but they are all out of the house. The youngest is still in high school, but he goes to a boarding school about an hour away and comes home on the weekends. They have a friend of the family who lives with them while she's going to school, but she is extremely anti-social and apparently works a lot. You almost never see her going in and out of the house.

I love it here. It's very pretty and the people are much friendlier than I expected. Shows that it's too easy to buy into preconceived notions. I miss home a lot, though, but I sent out of my first round of postcards yesterday, and hope to hear back (hint hint).

ACL Sound Off

Alright, alright. Yeah, I know.
THE MF'ING EAGLES ARE PLAYING ACL.
& PHISH, DON'T FORGET ABOUT PHISH, REMEMBER YOUR POCKET PIPE!
Now that you've got that out of your system, let's talk about who else you should be Tweeting about. I'll go ahead and do you a favor by skipping the giant headliners (after noting that Flaming Lips better be doing Dark Side of the Moon in its entirety), and even skip the mid-tier bolded acts right below it. I'll devote this to the very bottom acts that turn into skimmed text rather than new discoveries.

Gayngs

This is a Justin Vernon project, and that should be enough. Who is Justin Vernon, you ask? BON IVER! So while Bon Iver is on hiatus, you should check out this side project. I described their sound previously as an acid trip space ride. Not for publication.

The Soft Pack

I would be more excited about the Soft Pack if they hadn't released a new album.
A. I didn't find the album that moving. I thought it was a really shitty way to launch into indie rock rotation.
B. The Sirius station I listen to played/talked about/interviewed them for what felt like a month. I don't know how much the Soft Pack paid them, but it was absolutely ridiculous.
Regardless, it's a pretty solid band. Maybe they'll play older stuff.

Miike Snow

You've probably all heard Animal, so I thought I'd post the remix. I was kind of surprised to see Miike Snow so far down the list. They got a little MTV play, so I figured there would be some draw. They were also all over the place at SXSW, but according to this random creep I kept running the show was pretty lackluster. The album is excellent, though, so I'm willing to give it a shot.

Bear in Heaven

So chic right now. Saw them at SXSW, but there was a drunken pseudo hippie headbanging next to me. His hair kept hitting me. It was greasy.
I'm going to let this track speak for itself. If it doesn't, let me translate: awesome.

Mayer Hawthorne & The County

Not all of his stuff is so falsetto-y, but it is all that cute. Reminiscent of Jamie Lidell, Mayer Hawthorne is starting the R&B revolution among white boys. Plus, he's adorable.

Lissie

Anyone who can sing like that live, I'm going to see. Lissie got some buzz when Perez Hilton caught one of her many SXSW sets. For one of the first times, I completely and wholeheartedly agree with Perez's music taste. Her voice is kind of flawless.


White Rabbits

Really, this live show could go either way. I could see a lot of infectious energy or a major fail. We'll see?

THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

Maybe it was the Rhapsody commercial, or maybe people have been watching Moral Orel re-runs, but whatever the reason, the Mountain Goats have re-emerged!!!!!!!!!!!1one
I honestly could sit here and type for a long type about how awesome the Mountain Goats are and how I will probably start crying when they come on stage, but I'll spare you. Just, seriously, listen to their music. Do it. Now.


I really don't have much of a beef with anyone on the line-up, big or small, except for Switchfoot. Really? Random, poor choice. Also, Dawes sounds like a washed up John Mellencamp, and not in the good, nostalgic way.
I'm up for discussion about the other tiers, too, if you're interested. :)

Hall of Mirrors

On the surface of calm waters,
trapped in the windows of pristine shops,
resting rigidly on walls –
inescapable reality.

With a single, slipped glance
insecurities are exposed.
It needs no thorough search
to find misplaced hairs and extra pounds.

Reflect, reassess, reappear,
and hope the deprivation
and hair dye made it bearable
to look in that terrible frame.

Lining that proud hall of Versailles
are critics much harsher than nobles.
The mocking echoes wonder
how Marie faced all of those mirrors.




Sorry for the kind of morbid poetry. It's finals week. Positive thoughts won't happen until tests are done. This was written as part of my final sheaf that I turned in last Friday for my poetry class, so we'll see what my professor thought of it.
I am running on so little sleep is stupid. I am tweaking so hard on caffeine that my eyelids flutter when I try to shut them. I have a cumulative history final that is over 1000 pages of reading. I am so tired that I'm sick to my stomach. It's also my least favorite day of the year, when it comes around and reminds me that she's gone.


I'm just ready for Lyon.

1960s Speak

I've been reading a lot of Frank O'Hara lately, so I think that is where the casual, more literal tone of the poem is coming from. I'm not comparing myself to him, I promise, I just think that's what I was trying to emulate.

It’s that pause with beer halfway to your mouth,

to lock your gaze on the invisible,

and your blue eyes glass with reminiscence

(although you would swear they were brown).

That clear blue betrays you, for it shows

your memories like a projector

of speed heads and protests and Pink Floyd,

the time you saw them through dry ice.

When you needed nothing more

than another day in which to exist

and maybe the new Allman Brothers,

with a vinyl scratch discs don’t give.

Your life would read like Kerouac

if you, in fact, had ever read him.

But you haven’t, and you won’t,

you’re too busy living.

My desk shifts aren't always boring

I'm working the front desk at San Jacinto. Saturday desk shifts are the worst. Everyone is running around in the sunshine and I am stuck here in my little box (at this moment I am only 40 minutes into the shift, I am melodramatic).
A man staggers through the door, clearly straining under the weight of an end table that look very similar to the ones we have here. This isn't especially odd. People have been moving things in and out all day. It is around 90 degrees outside, and sweat is pouring down his face.
He walks up to the front desk and sets the table down. He must be in his late 20s, with a full beard, skinny jeans, and a beat-up pair of Tom's - today's prototypical look of a college graduate. He sighs before speaking.
"Hi," he reluctantly volunteers. For someone with such a straight forward look about him, he is being rather hesitant.
"I lived here in 2001. I know, a long time ago. When I moved out, I took this with me," he says as he gestures to the table. "Now - I'm here to return it. If you would like to escort me to the third floor study lounge I took it from, I will gladly put it back where it belongs."
At this point I can't help but laugh. His sudden assertion took me by surprise, and his matter-of-fact attitude seemed inappropriate for something as simple as undoing college shenanigans. I covered my mouth, ineffectively guarding body shaking giggles.
"Actually, you can just leave it here, we'll have someone take it up later," I say after regaining composure.
"Are you sure? Would that be convenient?" the man asks.
After reassuring him several times that it wouldn't be a problem, I opened the door behind the front desk and he brought the table inside.
"Any particular reason you want to bring it back now? Just out of curiosity," I questioned our bizarre re-gifter.
He didn't miss a beat.
"It doesn't belong to me."
But why the sudden conscience? He, at one point at least, had no moral qualms about claiming his souvenir.
For the second time since our encounter he sighed. Not a frustrated sigh. Maybe reminiscent. Maybe regret, but he must have detected my confusion.
"I've had a lot of shit going wrong in my life," he started. "I did a bunch of dumb shit in college, so I'm kind of trying to right my wrongs, if that makes any sense."
"Trying to balance karma, I get it."
He backed out of the space behind the front desk, glancing at the table again.
"Well, thanks Abby," he said, peeking at my name tag. "I'll see you later."
He started to leave and I began to think of the kind of days where I wanted to undo everything in my life, and how desperate and alone I felt. I also thought of the awkwardness of consoling strangers. Despite my generally non-obtrusive personality, I decided he probably needed some consolation. He put his hands on the the door.
"I hope everything starts to look up for you," I semi-shouted from behind the desk.
He turned to look at me with a half-smile, pausing for a moment.
"Me too."

There has been

a lot of talk about ACL tickets the last few days. I would like to go VERY much, whether with a press pass or not I haven't decided, but I will be there regardless. Unfortunately, I will be missing out on the bulk of summer fests due to my France trip (boohoo, right?), but here is my weigh in on the line-ups for the festivals I will be missing.

Bonnaroo
Bonnaroo, I would very much like to attend you, but I swear if I see another festival where Dave Matthew Band and Kings of Leon are the headlines I will throw up. Better question: why are those two bands listed before Stevie Wonder?! Oh well, I guess he can't see unless someone tells him...
Anyway, there are some gems and some major womps in the line-up, which I guess is like most festivals. Weezer was one of the more surprising picks. They were struggling to tour with Make Believe (more in their physical state rather than ticket sales), so I can't imagine what state ol'man Rivers Cuomo will be in for such a large crowd. Overall, pretty solid, but there are so many buzz bands it's kind of irritating.

Five acts I absolutely, positively would not miss:

• The Flaming Lips performing Dark Side of the Moon <---ZZZZOOOMG listening to it now
• THE MIDDLE EAST - My mind is still blown from SXSW.
• The Avett Brothers - More importantly, I'd jump on the stage and kidnap them.
• Jeff Beck - Tickets to see him in Austin were in the hundreds of dollars toward the end, and now he's a blip way down on the line-up list? Further proof that Austinites know their music.
  
• Local Natives - SO. DAMN. GOOD.

Five acts I suggest you avoid like the plague:

• Weezer - Sorry, guys. It's even past novelty at this point.
• Steve Martin & the Steep Canyon Rangers - Seriously?
• OK Go - That new music video is SWEET, though. I just imagine it would be really boring.
• Dawes - I believe my assessment for their SXSW performance was "this sounds like John Mellencamp...except really boring. And not good. At all." <-maybz a bit more eloquent
• Neon Indian - Okay, avoiding like the plague may be harsh. You should check it out if you like it, but it takes a pretty dynamic electronic guy to make that show interesting. I wasn't impressed, but the crowd was also very lucid.

Sasquatch!

I think Sasquatch! is cool for several reasons. A) It has punctuation in its name. B) The Gorge is a PERFECT place to have a concert. You could probably see from ANYWHERE, where as that flat ground of Zilker are very limiting. C) They consistently have killer line-ups without the cheesy buzz bands or burned-out old rockers.
I even like the way they present the bands on their website - each with their own little blurb and There are a few overlaps between the big music festivals for the really good acts, but Sasquatch! takes the cream of the crop from the others and adds PAVEMENT to their repertoire. Yes. Pavement. Jaws, get ready to drop.

People I would sell internal organs to see:

• PAVEMENT - I can't believe they are doing a major festival that close to their reunion!
• Ween - They are still way too cool for me to handle.
• Public Enemy - WIN for the oldschoolhipsterfriendly rap pick.
• Tallest Man on Earth - Sweden's Bob Dylan? Yes, please. Note: He is playing in Austin on May 2nd. I'm already going and YOU SHOULD TOO. Tickets are only $10.
• The Mountain Goats - I feel like I haven't seen them out and about much, of late. The Mountain Goats, so I've heard, put on a crazy good live show.
  

When it's time to wait in Port-O-Potty lines:

• Passion Pit - I love Passion Pit, okay? Really, I do. But their live show makes me want to weep. It's BAD.
• MGMT - Kind of in the same boat with Passion Pit. Good album, bad live show. Also, their newest release has really thrown everyone for a loop, and I'm not sure how to feel about it yet.
• Nada Surf - Live, they're mediocre at best. I actually went to one of their shows for their opening act and left a few minutes into their set. Granted, I'm not really a fan of their recorded stuff.

Honestly, I can't think of two more than aren't overlaps of the last bad ones. Also, the list of people not to miss was VERY hard to keep to five. Seriously, check out the line-up.


To be continued...

ee cummings, yo

Humanity i love you
because you would rather black the boots of
success than enquire whose soul dangles from his
watch-chain which would be embarrassing for both

parties and because you
unflinchingly applaud all
songs containing the words country home and
mother when sung at the old howard

Humanity i love you because
when you're hard up you pawn your
intelligence to buy a drink and when
you're flush pride keeps

you from the pawn shops and
because you are continually committing
nuisances but more
especially in your own house

Humanity i love you because you
are perpetually putting the secret of
life in your pants and forgetting
it's there and sitting down

on it
and because you are
forever making poems in the lap
of death Humanity

i hate you
-ee cummings





New poem of mine coming soon.
Only slightly better than this one.

These are a few of my favorite things (part 2)

5. Taking pictures
I've been into photography lately. Ever since SXSW and my pseudo photography skills, I've been kind of addicted. I don't know shit about photography, but I've been doing a lot of online research and testing with my borrowed Canon Rebel. Soon sweet Chelsey Kilzer and I are making a trip to Laguna Gloria for a photo shoot. Anyone want their picture taken?

4.


3. Being published
No, I haven't gotten over it. Probably never will. There is nothing like a byline to make my entire day. I'm not quite at the giddy level where I was in my first semester (aka I don't obnoxiously post everything on Facebook), but I'm still pretty close. I surely hope these are things I will experience for the rest of my life, the thrill and being published, that is.
SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION: You can download the latest issue of Performer, the magazine I intern for, here. After the .pdf downloads, if you don't feel like reading the rest you can just search my name for the best parts. :)

2. Letters
I don't get them very often, but I've stockpiled each one that I've gotten in college. There is something so nice about someone's handwriting. It doesn't matter if it's on paper or a greeting card, if the note is short or long, I save it. I want to write letters from France (in French) to everyone this summer, and maybe they will save them and think it is as cool as I do. Most likely they will not.

1.

What makes you happy?

These are a few of my favorite things (part 1)

Because I have been very disconnected of late and because I have had a major writer's block, I assigned myself the task of making a list of ten things that make me happy.

10. Stress shopping
I don't care if this is just ridiculously girly. I can't remember the last time I just shopped to shop. It's always right before/after a test, on a deadline, during particularly bad days. And you know what? I like it. I like buying things to make myself feel better because it WORKS.

9. Sugar Mama's
We haven't been lately, but Griffin and I visit this tiny shop enough for the hipster-baker guy that is constantly working the counter to recognize us when we run into him at Waterloo. I think if you don't like this place you either didn't have a childhood or don't have a soul. It's family owned, it's blue and red on the inside, they sell aprons, and they make seriously tasty cupcakes. I still refuse to name a favorite because I haven't actually cycled through their entire cupcake collection, but I couldn't even pick from the ones I've had thus far.


8. Old books
I just brought Dad's old French textbook back to school with me. It had "HI" written in the front of it in this silly, swirly script, and I absolutely adore it. It makes me want to take notes in my books and buy editions with interesting covers. One of my very favorite old books is the double edition Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass that my Granddad gave me. He took almost illegible notes in the margins.

7. Fresh sheets
and the way my car rides after going from no gas to a full tank are probably the best sensory feelings that I can think of. I think I first started noticing how good it was after this girl told me that our dead skin cells add 10 extra pounds to sheets. Aside from that little tidbit being dispelled in the rinse cycle, I love the way they smell and that soft quality they have every time they come out of the dryer.

6. Running
I had to put this lower on the list because, currently, running is the reason my left ankle is twice the size of the other, and my knee, instep, and outside of my foot are purpled with bruises. Regardless, sometimes I can think of nothing better than running with music blasting in my ears. I love the individualism involved with it. I love pushing myself further than I thought I could go. The satisfaction I get from meeting a mileage goal is pretty up there achievement wise.



One through five to come later. I'm going to play frisbee golf with Andrew, Ryan and Sam. Our team name? Four Man Wolf Pack. WIN.

Vegging

I'm thinking of picking up vegetarianism after this weekend. Only for the 10k, though, which I suppose isn't really being a vegetarian since it isn't for moral reasons (oh, how I wish I had the strength for that...). Every time I run after eating meat or something heavy I feel horrible. Plus, I've heard it's an excellent detox.
My running is going okay. I keep dropping the schedule, which puts me behind on the longer runs, but for these last four weeks before the race I'm going to stick to it heavily. My schedule isn't really conducive to workouts or runs, though, which is probably why I dropped running in the first place.

I'm going to listen to the Final Countdown on loop during the race.

A Passing Moment

I'm reading this poem today in my poetry class, so I figured I could share it on the blog. By the way, reading your own poetry is extremely intimidating.

I closed my eyes

and I returned for a passing moment
to the plastic teacup societies.
Though I carried nothing they welcomed me
with sticky fingers and barefoot decorum.

Back to the place where paper is linen.
Tea is served promptly at whenIsayso,
and though you ate the last of the brownies
you belong to the order. You are a We.

Tea is done and we dismiss ourselves with
pirouettes over the softest green blades.
We spin ourselves into colored spheres
and smear the things that we don't understand.

Then, a heart-breaking-knee-scraping falter
seems to push the world forward into night.
Their cries were met by swooping matriarchs,
my cry unanswered by a cold dark sky.

I opened my eyes.

Dont'cha know, it's a beautiful new day.

This song is how I feel today. Plus, check out his hairz.
I kind of want to make a music video for it.

This is not a music blog

...but for anyone who knows me, you know I can't go more than a minute without mentioning something music related. SO
The National is coming out with a new album, FINALLY. Their last album Boxer was one of my favorites of 2007, and their 2005 album Alligator was drooled over by everyone from Rolling Stone to the insatiable Pitchfork.

Anyways, the point of my gushing is a free mp3 they've released to promote the album. "Bloodbuzz Ohio" is the first single from the forthcoming High Violet. It seems like they're up to the old tricks from what I've heard. Nothing innovative, but still brilliant. You can download it here. The album is out in mid-May.
& if you're unfamiliar with the band, I'd start with this "Fake Empire" from Boxer:



I'm still wrapping up South by Southwest stuff. I've got a lot of writing to do and hundreds of photos to delete. This was the first time in a while that I've played photographer, but I think they turned out very well, mostly thanks to the Rebel. I don't really feel like it's very hard to take a good picture with that camera. It made me look legit in more ways in one, too. You'd be surprised how quick people are to give up well-earned crowd spots for a photographer.


I'll try to update this with something daily. Not always about music, I promise.

Inevitably, first entries are weird

Attempting to make
the first contact less awkward
in a haiku form.